Apparently, at sixty, I'm supposed to calm down. Dress sensibly. Choose sensible shoes. Wear sensitive colors. And generally become a slightly quieter version of myself. That sounds exhausting. So I went to New York Fashion Week instead. Because if there's one place where nobody asks you to tone it down, behave yourself or dress your age, it's New York. Fuchsia. Ridiculous sunglasses. Trainers instead of heels. Coffee in one hand and absolutely no intention of becoming invisible. Perfect. I've never understood the expression “act your age.” Which part of sixty am I supposed to act? The part that has survived enough bullshit to stop caring what people think? The part that finally knows what she likes? Or the part that has enough shoes to know that sensitive ones are wildly overrated? Age doesn't make you boring. Giving up does. And I have absolutely no plans for that. So if you're looking for me, I'll be the sixty-year-old woman in fuchs...
Apenas os homens e os golfinhos têm prazer na relação sexual. Será que pelo menos os golfinhos são fiéis? O único animal que já nasce com cornos é a girafa. O animal mais fiel é o albatroz. A monogamia é estatisticamente rara entre os bichos. Ocorre em apenas três de cerca de 4000 espécies de mamíferos. O coito entre moscas varejeiras dura quarenta minutos, mas o insecto permanece colado na fêmea por outros vinte minutos para evitar que ela se entregue a um rival. O cão utiliza-se do mesmíssimo expediente. Antes de depositar seus espermatozóides, os caranguejos do tipo Maria-farinha produzem uma secreção que endurece como cimento, bloqueando a passagem do esperma de outros machos. As libélulas possuem o pênis coberto por saliências que têm como objetivo remover o sêmen deixado na fêmea pelos machos que anteriormente copularam com ela.
FORGIVE AND FORGET? HOW FRIGHTFULLY CONVENIENT. 🍒 There is a particular sort of person who recommends forgiveness immediately after doing something that would benefit enormously from being forgotten. They say it gently, of course, as though offering you chamomile tea. “You must forgive and forget.” Must I? How fascinating to discover that, after providing the offence, they have also appointed me Head of Disposal. I have considered the position carefully and must decline. Forgiveness may set us free. So does gin, and gin has the decency not to demand moral superiority in return. Forgetting, meanwhile, is not a virtue. It is bad filing. And some documents ought to be kept, preferably dated, signed and in duplicate. Portuguese justice has taught me that every document requires another document confirming that the first document was, indeed, a document. To the machine itself, with all due respect, which, in British English, means precisely none: fuck you . I do not believe in r...
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